Better

from Alexithymia by Collin Clowes

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Track 2 from Alexithymia

lyrics

I wish I was better,
I wish I knew right from wrong,
I wish I went back to get her,
Yeah She’s been waiting far too long.
(Verse A)
I’m not like my father,
No matter how bad I want to be,
And I get these looks from my mother,
Like she don’t know who she sees.

Cause maybe I’m going nowhere,
Yeah Maybe I never will,
So I’ll just sit with this blank stare,
I try to move but I stay still.
I try to move but I stay still. (Pre-Chorus A)

So maybe I’m frozen, These scars are still open,
I guess I’m just a little bit broken,
And I can’t fix this, though I wished it, (Chorus A)
I keep falling down,
Down, Down, Down.

And maybe if I was better,
People would have stayed,
A lot of maybes to consider,
Yeah maybe things can never change.
(Verse B)
Cause I keep going in circles
Just trying to catch my tail
But I’m still stuck in the middle,
While people wait for me to fail.

Yeah people wait for me to fail. (Pre-Chorus B)

So maybe I’m frozen, These scars are still open,
I guess I’m just a little bit broken,
And I can’t fix this, though I wished it, (Chorus B)
I keep falling down,
Down, down, down.

And if I ever get to where i need to be,
I can finally say all the secrets I can’t keep, (Outro/Bridge)
I am scared as hell but that will never show,
Through the fire & flames I go.

credits

from Alexithymia, released September 1, 2023

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Collin Clowes Thunder Bay, Ontario

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